Bereaved Parents Awareness Month: Tips for Coping After the Loss of a Child
No one fathoms losing a child. Yet, if you’re a bereaved parent or someone who supports a bereaved parent, you know the pain intimately. We know words do nothing to bring back your child, but we are so sorry for your loss. July is Bereaved Parents Awareness Month, and whether you’re a bereaved parent, a loved one or someone seeking to support your community, we’ve gathered meaningful ways to navigate this month with care and compassion.
Tips For Bereaved Parents
Give Yourself Permission
Whether your child recently died or you’ve been grieving for many years, give yourself permission each day to feel your emotions. Your feelings are valid.
You also have permission to say no and create boundaries when it’s too difficult to attend an event or gathering. If you do attend a gathering, feel free to take a break during the event to go on a walk or sit and relax away from the party.
Give yourself permission to limit exposure to potential triggers, such as social media. Sometimes, social media can be a difficult place when you’re grieving. It’s important to remember social media is often a highlight reel, and you’re not alone in your grief. Taking a break from the internet or limiting your time can allow you to recharge and reconnect with your loved ones in person.
Discover Helpful Resources
Below you’ll find several organizations — online and in person — that offer helpful and encouraging resources and connections as you grieve.
Dougy Center
This online and Portland-local center focuses on providing resources and support for grieving children and their caregivers. If your child is grieving the death of their sibling, discover a peer grief support group near you as well as books on grief and an encouraging podcast.
What’s Your Grief
This online organization offers grief courses, articles, blog posts and other resources centered around their self-titled book on helping you through a loss.
For Grief
At For Grief, we offer many resources to help you in your grief journey. Our Grief Chats include conversations with grief experts, so you can better understand what you’re experiencing. We also frequently update our grief support bookshop, and we have an active online community of peer-to-peer support from other people who are grieving.
Bereaved Parents of the USA
This organization’s mission is “Helping grieving parents and families rebuild their lives after the death of a child.” They offer resources for newly bereaved parents and local chapters that meet to support one another. Browse their chapters page to find and join a local group.
The Compassionate Friends
This group offers resources, local support chapters, links to other helpful organizations and online support group options. You can also find information about crisis hotlines, if you need additional support.
Lean on Your Community
While it may be hard to ask for help, it’s important to lean on the people you have; your loved ones want to help and encourage you. Try making a list of specific tasks you need to complete (cleaning the house, mowing the yard, picking up kids from school, planning a birthday party, running errands, making meals, etc.), and ask a couple friends or family members to help you complete them or do them for you.
Tips For Friends and Family of Bereaved Parents
Say Their Child’s Name
Even in the days, months or years after the funeral, continue saying your loved one’s child’s name. It’s important to let your loved one know that you remember and honor their child’s life. Their child will always be close to their heart and saying their name respects and honors their experience and their grief.
Offer Specific Help
When someone is grieving, it’s often difficult to know exactly what they need. However, instead of offering general help — i.e. “Let me know if you need anything” and similar phrases — to your grieving loved one, offer specific tasks that you can do for them (cleaning the house, mowing the yard, picking up kids from school, planning a birthday party, running errands, making meals, etc.). You can even set up a spreadsheet for other loved ones to help pitch in, once the tasks and timelines are okayed by the person who is grieving. Taking physical and mental burdens away from the bereaved parent offers them a chance to grieve and rest.
Remember Important Dates
Add meaningful dates in your calendar and contact your loved one on dates important to them. You can send a thoughtful note in the mail, text them an encouraging message or call or meet up in person if they need a little extra support on those days. Being present, even when it’s hard to know what say, means the world to a grieving parent.
Dates to remember: their child’s birthday, death anniversary, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or other meaningful holidays or special occasions.
Tips For Communities and Organizations Supporting Bereaved Parents
Offer Helpful Resources
Countless grief resources exist, and you can offer people in your community resources we’ve listed above for grieving parents.
If you’d like to learn more about grief and help your community better understand those who are grieving, What’s Your Grief offers online courses designed to educate professionals so they can better support their communities.
Share Thoughtful Social Content
During the month of July, you can share thoughtful content on your social media to support people grieving in your community. Avoid clichés or quick fix messages; instead opt for warm and empathetic content and graphics, relatable stories, encouraging messages, thoughtful quotes and helpful resources.
Support Nonprofits for Grieving Parents
Support your local nonprofits that help grieving parents, such as mental health organizations, mental health support groups and grief support or advocacy groups. If your community doesn’t have local groups to support, here are a few online groups that offer resources and groups to encourage and help grieving parents and their grieving children.
For grieving parents, give yourself space. For friends and family, be present for your loved one. For communities, offer resources and encouragement. With empathy and specific help, we can come together to support bereaved parents during the month of July and beyond.