How to Support a Coworker Who Is Grieving
Grief doesn’t stay at home when someone returns to work. It walks through the doors with the person — a grief that’s quiet, heavy and often invisible. When a coworker experiences the death of a loved one, it can feel hard to know what to say or do. However, with empathy and compassion, you can help create a workplace where your coworker feels supported instead of isolated.
Write a Condolence Message
Often, it’s difficult to know what to write in a sympathy card for a coworker who is grieving. Your condolence message can be heartfelt, yet simple. You can handwrite a personal note, a short note from your team, a text, email or a digital message board. Here are a few ideas to consider. Find a longer list of ideas on the kudoboard website or Indeed, including what types of messages to avoid.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m thinking of you during this difficult time.
Wishing you comfort and peace in the days ahead. You have my deepest condolences.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m here to listen if you ever need someone to talk to.
[Person’s name] was an extraordinary person. My thoughts are with you and your family.
During this difficult time, know that you have the unwavering support of your entire team. Our deepest sympathy to you.
We are thinking of you and your family during this time of sorrow. Please let us know if there is anything we can do.
Acknowledge Their Loss
When your coworker returns to work, it can be difficult to know what to say when you’re in person, even if you wrote them a heartfelt note. Simply acknowledging their loss and letting them know that you’re here for them can go a long way in helping your coworker return to work feeling less overwhelmed and surrounded by care. You don’t need to find the perfect words. Even saying, “I’m so sorry for your loss,” lets them know you see them and their grief.
Offer Practical Help
Grief can make daily tasks feel overwhelming, even after some time away from work after a loss. Small acts of kindness can make a big difference — covering a shift, helping with workload, bringing them lunch or offering to handle a project detail. Remember to be specific when offering help. Instead of, “Let me know if you need anything,” try, “Can I bring you lunch tomorrow?”
If they ask if you know of any grief resources, you can point them to several helpful resources that we created at For Grief:
Books about grief that get it right
A video about how to head back to work when grieving
Online resources to support them in their grief
Remember Important Dates
Holidays, birthdays and anniversaries can be especially difficult after the death of a loved one. Acknowledging these days and checking in with your coworker can show that you care.
Remember: continue to take note of these meaningful dates long after the funeral. Just because the funeral is over or the first holiday has passed, doesn’t mean that your coworker is “done” grieving. In fact, grief has no timeline and while it may become smaller over time, it often never disappears completely. Your coworker will carry that loss and love with them forever.
Respect Their Boundaries
If your coworker doesn’t wish to talk about their loss at work, follow their lead and respect their boundaries. You can let them know that you’re here for them and express that your door is always open to talk, should they want to.
Create a Compassionate Work Culture
If you’re in a leadership role, consider how your workplace policies and culture support grieving employees. Flexible schedules, grief resources and open communication can make all the difference in how someone navigates loss while at work. This flexibility shows your employee that you value them and invest in their well-being.
Supporting a grieving coworker doesn’t mean knowing all the answers or finding the perfect thing to say. It’s about showing up with kindness, patience and understanding. Even the smallest gestures — a heartfelt note, a kind word or simply respecting their grieving journey — can help them feel less alone during some of life’s hardest moments.